I’ve recently been going through my first breakup. (More on that here). To put it lightly, it sucks. Getting through heartbreak has involved a delicate balance between staying distracted and actually dealing with my feelings. Like most things in life, I’ve found that humor is my #1 coping tool – so I’ve put together a list of things I’ve done since my breakup, to document this emotionally wild ride. I hope you can relate or just have a nice chuckle.

Things I’ve done since my breakup:

• Cried

I have always been a crier. I cry when I’m happy, I cry when I’m sad, I cry when I’m feeling nothing. But I had no idea how much I could cry until this breakup! The volume of tears has truly been incomprehensible. The tears will attack at ANY time, with no warning.

• Resumed therapy

Since this is my first breakup, I want to make sure I work through it in a healthy way. I keep trying to find a playbook for, “What exactly I’m supposed to do with every minute of my day while healing from a breakup,” but apparently that guide doesn’t exist. So instead I’ve returned to therapy.

• Journaled

I used to journal every day, but I fell out of practice over the past few years. I’ve recently picked it back up and i’ts been so helpful to dump my thoughts into a journal instead of having them swirling around in my head. This is especially true at night, when my thoughts are much more rampant and, honestly, crazy. Daytime Liz reads nighttime Liz’s journal entries and wonders, “Is she okay?” (she is not).

• Binged The Vampire Diaries

I’ve watched 4 seasons of the Vampire Diaries in 4 weeks and I call that coping.

• Gave my parents a bedroom makeover

I’ve been taking on a lot of random projects to fill my time and my mental space. My favorite project was surprising my parents with a complete bedroom makeover while they were out of town. Check it out here!

• Made a breakup playlist

My breakup playlist is aptly called “Ugh,” and is full of relatable songs that alternate between making me cry and making me feel better. It’s a good balance. I look forward to the day that I can stand to listen to anything else.

• Cried more

One time I went 24 whole hours without crying and I’m very proud of that.

• Left the house 1x a day

Since we are still living through a pandemic and I don’t have a life anymore (sorry my therapist says I’m not supposed to say that), I’m trying to keep my mental health in check by getting out of the house at least once a day. Many days that just means going on a trip to Starbucks or a taking neighborhood walk, but getting out once a day keeps me from becoming a total hermit.

• Had a friend visit

One of my close friends from college came to visit me for a few days, and it was so nice to have a friend with me during such a tough time. It made me feel super cared for and reminded me that perhaps I do have a life outside of my former relationship. (Take that, therapist!)

• Moved in with my parents

My relationship ended, my office’s physical location closed, and my apartment lease expired, so I decided it was time to leave the city. I’ve fled to the suburbs and moved in with my parents. Not exactly where I thought I’d be at the age of 29, but It’s been really nice to have company and distraction. I’m lucky I get along with them so well!

• Painted my room

Since moving in, I’ve painted my bedroom for no other reason than to keep myself occupied. I followed this pattern, and it turned out pretty cute, if I say so myself.

• Binged The Vampire Diaries

I’ve watched 4 seasons of the Vampire Diaries in 4 weeks and I call that coping.

• Ate a lot of junk

For the first few days after my breakup I could barely stand to eat anything. Unfortunately that DIY weight loss stage passed quickly and was soon replaced with emotional eating.

• Exercised

LOL I’m not doing that! Fooled ya.

• Leaned on my family & friends

My family and friends have been so sweet during this time. They’ve provided distraction, time with my niece, listening ears to tearful conversations, and long, long phone calls. I am so grateful to have people who care about my emotional breakdowns in excruciating detail. For a look at what my friends are dealing with, please see this actual text I sent below:

• Booked vacations

I’ve become super fixated on planning things to look forward to, so I booked 2 vacations! I planned my family’s vacation for next July, which is very unlike us -we normally plan trips no more than a month in advance. I’ll also be spending November in Florida since I can work from anywhere now! Silver linings.

• Did I mention crying?

The tears. Oh my gosh, the tears. I debated putting a crying photo in this blog post, but decided that was a little too unhinged.

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You may have noticed I didn’t really elaborate on how I’m doing, and honestly I don’t really know! Moving through heartbreak has been a total roller coaster of emotions from day to day, and even minute to minute. If you’ve been through a breakup, what helped you heal?

xo,
Liz