If you’re reading this, you’re probably going through a breakup. Let me start by saying two things – I am so sorry, and I promise things will get better! I went through a breakup last year, and one of the first things I did was literally google, “How to get over a breakup.” As it turns out, there’s no quick fix – but these journal prompts can help you get started on your journey to healing.
Breakup journal prompts
List reasons why you broke up
Whether for relationship issues or circumstantial issues, you broke up for a reason (or reasons). Writing these reasons down can help you stay centered and logical as you work through the breakup. When you’re journaling, jot down any moments of doubt you had throughout the whole relationship. This is a great list to revisit in those weak moments where you ask yourself, “Why the heck did we break up?” (Sorry, those moments will happen).
Express gratitude for the relationship
I’ve found that gratitude can be a healer in many situations. Regardless of how the relationship went or how it ended, you surely learned and grew from the experience. Take a pause from being upset that the relationship ended, and focus on why you’re glad that it happened. Write down all of the ways it changed you or added something to your life. Even if the only positive additions you can think of are new restaurants you discovered while dating.
Practice turning negatives into positives
Your life changes when a relationship ends, so it’s natural to have apprehensive thoughts about yourself or about the future. Those thoughts can haunt you and make moving forward even harder, if you let them. I picked up this trick to help from good ole therapy. With this journal prompt, take those fearful what-ifs and turn them into positive what-ifs. For example, instead of writing down, “What if I never find someone who fits as well as my ex did?” write down, “What if I find someone who is even more aligned with me?” Or instead of, “What if breaking up was a mistake?” write down, “What if this changes my life for the better?” Reframing these fears and negative thoughts will be so helpful to your healing process and getting excited about the future!
Collect texts you would send
One of the hardest parts about a breakup is adjusting from talking to that person all of the time, to talking to them none of the time. The best way to move forward from a breakup is to follow the no contact rule – yes, this means not contacting your ex at all. I know this is easier said than done, but it’s an easier rule to follow when you don’t keep things bottled up. If you feel yourself wanting to text your ex, write the message in your journal or type it into your notes app instead. This will help you get the thought off your chest without actually backsliding into communication. You can express anything from what you had for lunch to deep thoughts about your relationship – whatever you wish you could text your ex instead.
Reflect on your future desires
Once you’ve taken some time after the relationship ends, reflect on what you desire in a future partner. You can be as vague as “kind” or as specific as “doesn’t own hiking boots” (FYI please do not apply to be my husband if you enjoy hiking). Writing down a “wish list” will help you move on by allowing you see where your previous partner might have missed the mark. It’ll also help you have more clarity and direction for who you really want to pursue when you do start dating again.
I hope these breakup journal prompts are helpful! Sending you all my love in your tough time. You’ve got this, just give it time.
If you’ve been through a breakup, what helped you heal?